You Don’t Always Have to “Win” a Negotiation to Get What You Want
Dec 2, 2015
Negotiators generally believe that acting dominantly will give them an edge at the negotiating table, but research has found that acting deferentially has its advantages too. In negotiations with many moving parts, the best outcomes result from one person behaving deferentially and the other behaving dominantly. When both parties are focused on “winning” the issue through dominance, they’re more likely to reach an impasse. But when one side is deferential, the dynamic becomes more comfortable and the negotiators are better able to parse complex issues. Being deferential doesn’t mean becoming submissive or sacrificing your goals, though — it means using a subtle, respectful conversational approach to get what you need. And both sides being deferential doesn’t help either. So if your negotiating partner is taking an aggressive stance, try adopting a deferential style — or vice versa. You may find that doing so helps both sides achieve higher-quality deals. Adapted from “When You Shouldn’t Try to Dominate a Negotiation,” by Scott Wiltermuth
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